an allergic childhood

Updated: Mar 21, 2022

Abi reading to our rescue Brittany, Jack

is it really that different?

I can only speak of our own experience. Yes, Abi's allergy has stopped us from doing a few things - but it hasn't stopped us from living a pretty normal life. (Note to self: look up 'normal'.)

As a fun exercise, I decided to jot down a list of the areas that have required extra focus and effort along the way. (Second note to self: look up 'fun'.)

Shopping

Home cooking/baking

Pre-school

School - regular days

School trips

Play dates

Kids' parties

Formal events

Visiting friends/relatives

Eating out

Travelling abroad

(NB This list ain't exhaustive, mate.)

Hmm, so my list is bigger than I was expecting. Interesting! In a nutshell: having a child with a severe allergy takes extra energy and focus. Thank goodness we're an adaptable species otherwise I'd have reached extinction by age 40!

The point I make here is that we HAVE to cover off all this stuff - there is no choice. Yes, it becomes second nature in one sense, but that doesn't mean it's a walk in the park for us caregivers - sometimes far from it. This leads me on to my next point.

We HAVE to cover off all this stuff - there is no choice.

Abi and me campervanning and partying

talking about mental health

It would be disingenuous to describe the past 13 years of managing a child's severe allergy without talking about mental health.

Anxiety and me, we go way back. Anxiety is the draining relative who has no idea when she's outstayed her welcome. I have always felt some degree of anxiety pretty much every day - sometimes only fleetingly and sometimes for every waking minute. Some days it manifests as an unsettled feeling; sometimes excitement, determination and productivity. Other days it is utter internal corrosion.

Living with a child's severe allergy involves living with a silent, omnipresent threat and it would be wrong to say this doesn't play into the hands of anxiety. For those who are naturally predisposed to that delightful relative - well, it can create one or two perfect little storms on the path of life, that's for sure! If I'm describing you, well, you'll know that already.

Living with a silent omnipresent threat plays into the hands of anxiety.

with a little help from our friends

What helps me?

Talking about it
Finding allies wherever your child frequents
Finding ways to feel a greater sense of control
Channelling my energy into something constructive
Using my books

Yeah, yeah, this will sound like a shameless plug - but my book was a great ally. Sending Abi into preschool and then school with her copy and an instruction to the teacher to read it to the class felt like a tick in the box of control. Not only were we reinforcing the key messages to Abi and her teacher - but her classmates were also being educated. I've heard more than one child challenging their mother on the contents of their packed lunch because of the nuts it contained.

And, lastly, getting family and good friends on board in a water-tight fashion was a godsend too. To those of you who embraced our choices with such gusto: I will always be grateful.

Getting family and friends on board was a godsend.

the sky remains the limit

So, supporting an allergic childhood involves extra work, extra focus and extra strain on our resources. But that DOES NOT HAVE TO MEAN extra sacrifice or exclusion for them.

point in case

Abi and I went on a girlie road-trip on Dec 29th 2019, staying in a teeny caravan, just the two of us. I wanted to give her a bucket-list experience, quality mother-daughter time; six days away from EVERYTHING. Did I mention it was in the Arctic Circle? During the polar winter? Minor detail. I mean, who doesn't love -30 degrees and eternal darkness, am I right??

We travelled by sleeper train (which looked like a relic from 1940's Siberia), from Stockholm to Lapland, to stay with a large pack of huskies. We rode ski mobiles, sled with huskies, fed Sami reindeer, marvelled at The Ice Hotel... and staggered outside at 3am to catch the auroras. YES, there's a moral to the story. The sky remains the limit! Fantastical trips like these take EVEN MORE research, preparation, nervous energy and care - but, they can be done! We did it! We loved it! And - yep - we'll do it again!